This week I've been more obsessed than usual with my Milton project.
But a sneaking thought crept into my head. This class is about learning HOW to write a thesis or dissertation. However, the end project is NOT a thesis or dissertation, instead it is only a prospectus. So, that's what I realized this week. I'm spending all semester finalizing this project (after working on it and researching it since last spring) with never writing it.
I don't think I can do that.
I don't see how I can work over a year on something and not see it through. So, what to do? Here is the connundrum. I am exhausted. Part of it is the commute every week to school (5 hours round trip). Part of it is the stress of work (making me just want to curl under the covers more) and part is just that it's been a cold, grey winter. I don't know where I will find the energy or time to write a 35-80 page thesis. And I wouldn't have any input in the drafts. There is no advisor, there is no end result. I would do it, just to do it. And yet, I can't comprehend doing all this work and not seeing it through to its final result.
There's a little over a month and a half left of class. And class assignments due. And work to balance on top of that. But I have to figure it out. Wish I was in a program that required a master's thesis.
We'll see. I'm sure that I'll be letting you know.