Yesterday I sat in my last class as a student. It was Old English, my last requirement for my PhD program other than finishing my dissertation revisions.
After class I walked up to my professor and told him I needed a handshake because he was officially my last class as a student.
He smiled large and said "feels good doesn't it?"
Yes. Yes it does.
It all seemed a little surreal. And anti-climatic.
I was expecting this...
And got this...
Which is fine. I guess. But this morning as I woke up, made coffee, and sat in front of my new computer (my laptop suffered cascading failure this week, so unexpected expense, but oh, so shiny and pretty!), I felt unmotivated to do anything.
I still have portfolios to grade, and final papers, and final exams next week. But this day after final classes, I find it hard to find my motivation. In part I think because in a lot of ways this has been a hard, exhausting, semester. But also, because it's been a long three years.
I've been on an accelerated timeline for my PhD, possible in part because I came in with two Masters degrees, and could transfer elective credits in. At at 39 I want to be done.
But let's not discount what I've accomplished. Because I've done a lot in little time because of a strong work ethic.
For those of you who have been following along at home, you can skip the review...
- I finished coursework in three semesters.
- I comped in my fourth semester.
- I defended my prospectus two weeks later.
- I wrote a complete draft of my dissertation this past summer.
- I completed one round of revision this fall, and I'm currently in the second round of revision which I hope to have finished by Christmas (chapter one and two are done, and I'm working on chapter three out of six chapters).
- In our Skype meeting this past Wednesday, my director said I was still on track to graduate by this summer. To avoid $600+ in summer tuition I'd like to move that up to spring, but either way, I'm graduating this year and that's what counts.
I've written a ton of blog posts on this process.
I've written reviews and short articles.
I also quit smoking and became a runner.
I've applied to 45 jobs. I've made job market back up plans.
So it's been a busy two and a half years.
And I'm really proud of the work I've done.
But I'm also a little tired.
Not of my work, I still love working on the #DevilDiss2 and tweaking it. It's really starting to come together, and I'm really proud of the gap this work will fill. People say if you're not tired of your dissertation by the time you're done you're doing it wrong, so I guess I'm doing it wrong, because I still love the project.
But I am tired.
But frankly, I don't do well with time off (a by-product of my theatre training).
It's all starting to feel real.
So I rather stay chained to my desk the next couple of weeks and finish these revisions before the holidays so I can binge watch some Netflix and relax as I wait for revision notes.
I have a feeling that the next semester will fly by, and while I know there will be blog posts between now and then, it won't be long before I'm posting my graduation post.